Shit People in Crown Heights Say

That whole “shit X people say” meme trend has come and gone, but I just found some hand-written notes I must have written at some point in 2012 when I was still living in Crown Heights, Brooklyn.

Here’s my own attempt at “Shit People in Crown Heights Say:”

• “Goddamn it car alarms”
• “I love you Queens but the G train is just not a real train”
• “You’re in the Bronx? Uh, I just assumed the Brooklyn Botanical Garden”
• “Take the 3 to the S to the B/Q” (a la this SNL skit about Los Angeles freeways!)
• “I’ll just double park on Bedford Ave. while you run in”
• “Fucking dog shit everywhere when it snows”
• “Are you really eating a fish sandwich on the B44 bus?”
• “No free Jehovah’s Witness bible, thanks though”
• “Are you Jewish?” “Yes, but no thanks”
• “I’ll take four doubles with extra tamarind sauce”
• “Our mouse lives behind the stove”
• “Do you use T-Mobile or Metro PCS?”

Not even sure these are relevant anymore as the neighborhood has fully gentrified, as evidenced by the presence of a STARBUCKS.